


locked your love in a screenshot

by heybernia



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternative Universe - Not Hockey Players, Bringing in a Third, Fluff, M/M, except it's fluff with many feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22024345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heybernia/pseuds/heybernia
Summary: Alex would never have said he was smart, but even for him, going on Phil and Jer's honeymoon with them is a special kind of stupid.
Relationships: Alexandre Fortin/Jeremy Lauzon/Philippe Myers, Jeremy Lauzon/Philippe Myers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33
Collections: Hockey Holidays 2019





	locked your love in a screenshot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [love_stella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_stella/gifts).

> i hope you enjoy this au ash it was a joy to write <3
> 
> tysm to a for reading this over at the last hour
> 
> warning for anxiety/being unsure about relationship status and sex

Alex is not smart.

He doesn't think things through. He never looks ahead with foresight or considers consequences, and even he can admit it’s funny when it leads to him wiping out during rec roller hockey games because his feet move faster than his mind. Making people laugh makes it easy to let it roll of his shoulders. 

But it's not funny this time. Absolutely not funny. Nothing about the situation is funny because it's going to lead to Alex getting hurt, leave a bruise that's not going to heal. 

A smart person wouldn't have agreed to a threesome with their best friend and said best friend’s fiancé, especially not when they were going to have to play the role of best man at the wedding. Anyone else would have said no before the first time, and the people who did succumb to the offer would have said afterwards one time was enough.It was too much in fact, they wouldn't have ended up back in their bed again and third-wheeling restaurant meals and giving their input on wedding choices. After all that, after all that, it still wouldn't have been too late to climb out.

Alex would never have said he was smart, but even for him, going on Phil and Jer's honeymoon is a special kind of stupid.

His eyes are burning, aching, squinting because of the overly bright sun outside the door and the lack of sleep he got on the long plane flight to the Carribean, and the absence of sleep the night before, and the night before that. Alex wants nothing more than to lie down and cover his face with a pillow, force his eyes close, although that looks like it won't be happening any time soon.

Alex tunes back into the conversation Phil and Jer are having with the receptionist, and tries not to say anything, because the _it's fine I’ll sleep in another room I promise it’s fine_ is sticking to the back of his throat. He takes a drink of water, swallows it back down, and squeezes the now empty bottle, plastic crunching until it's as flat as can be.

Phil looks over at the noise, his mouth pulled into a flat line and eyes narrow. This is Alex's fault, and the guilt must be clear on his face because Phil forces his face into a smile, and despite everything it still makes Alex feel better. Reminds that him that he is wanted there.

"It's been paid for," Jer says slowly, drawing every word out, sunglasses pushed up onto his head."He's not freeloading, we got our booking changed weeks ago, we made it very clear what was happening, and we were told that it wouldn’t be a problem. You should have a spare key."

"But it's the honeymoon suite," the receptionist says again, for the third or fourth time Alex can remember. Then the receptionist’s head swivels to give Alex a piercing, judging look, one he's seen before from the few friends of theirs that have learnt about the arrangement. He's still not used to it, it still makes his chest clench before the receptionist turns back to Phil and Jer.

"We can't fit an extra bed in the honeymoon suite," he says.

Alex yawns, the tiredness suddenly hitting him, his body attempting to do anything to get out of here. That's the final straw apparently because Jer clenches his jaw and grits out, "Good, since it's not needed because he's sleeping _with_ us."

He pushes the sunglasses back down to cover his eyes, so Alex only sees the anger in them for a second, and turns to Phil to ask, "Can you--" and after a nod and a quick kiss from Phil, Jer's grabbing a key off the desk, then Alex's hand and dragging them down the hall to the elevators. 

The honeymoon suite is on the top floor of the hotel, so there's plenty of time for Alex to look out of the glass window of the elevator as the people, beaches, lush plants all become smaller and smaller, and to listen to Jer's furious ranting that doesn't stop, not even when he unlocks the door into the room, bringing in a sea of swears and fury with him. It's touching in a way, Jer refusing to let go of the tight grip he has on Alex’s hand is helping to keep Alex above water

They end up on the huge bed, cases standing unzipped in the corner, it's big enough that the three of them should fit in it easily which is impressive. Alex uses the free hand he has left to pet Jer's curls, to try and return the favour of care they're giving him, and breathes in cool air from the fan whirring, undercut by the lingering tang of heat in the background and the familiar smell of Jer. 

"That dude was such a fucking asshole," Jer says into Alex's thigh, shifting so he can look up at Alex, lips pouting and face unhappy. He lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Alex. He was being a fuck for no reason."

Alex shrugs. "It's okay. You don’t have to be sorry. It's kind of weird to have three people in the honeymoon suite."

Jer frowns. "Even if it is, that doesn't mean he gets to be a dick about it." He shifts again, neck still tight with tension, and Alex starts to run his fingers through Jer's hair, anything to get him to loosen up and relax. It works a little, Jer starting to lean more into Alex, but Jer is still bitching about it when Phil appears with a click of the lock. There’s a blank look on his face.

"Hey Phil," Alex says.

"Hi," says Phil. He's smiling a little now, the stone-cold expression starting to disappear.

"Hello, mon beau, I'm still mad as fuck," Jer announces into Alex's thigh. "Did you get it sorted?"

"Yeah, eventually," Phil says. "They'll have another key ready for tomorrow." Phil drags his suitcase across the floor, wheels gliding along the tiles, dumping it next to the rest, and then toes off his shoes and makes his way onto the bed, mattress dipping as he slides over to Alex and Jer in the middle.

"Sorry you had to hear that, Alex," Phil says, an apology marked by Phil wrapping an arm around Alex, pressing his face to his shoulder.

"It's not your fault," Alex says. It's mine goes unsaid.

"I'm glad you're here, we're both happy you are," Phil says, earnest and solid.

"We are," Jer echoes, the first non-bitchy thing he's said since he got into the room.

Alex doesn't reply, no words seem right. He lets himself relax for the first time since he boarded the plane, down into the mattress and under them. 

"We should get up and unpack," Phil says at some point, his foot wrapping around Alex's. Alex had been drifting off somewhat, and that jolts him awake.

"I just want to sleep," Alex admits.

"We can unpack later," Jer says. He buries his face into Alex’s neck, his beard brushing against Alex’s skin and making him shiver.

"You'll get around to it the night before we have to leave," Phil says. “That’s what you always do.”

Alex can hear the way Jer’s face shifts to one of disbelief. It’s clear in his voice too. "Hey, I’ve got stuff in your case, so I do need to unpack actually. Just because you pack quote unquote light ah kay ah you pack nothing," Jer says.

"We're on vacation for two weeks, not two months.”

“We’re on our honeymoon for two weeks.” 

“We’re on our honeymoon for two weeks, not two months.”

“A two month honeymoon would be great, legit great.” 

It's not arguing, it's not bickering. It's a comforting backing track, filled with love and affection. Falling asleep to it was a lot easier than Alex thought it would be.

*

Alex wakes up the next morning, sweaty and overheating and trapped between Phil and Jer.

It takes him a second to remember where he is, a hotel in the Caribbean with unfamiliar walls, and why he's there, because Phil and Jer asked him to go, because they're standing too close to a line that Alex is toeing across and Alex isn't sure where he's going to fall.

It was an early night yesterday for all of them, since Alex's nap still wasn't enough for his body it seemed. He tried to tell Phil and Jer that they could stay out, he just needed the rest but Jer feigned a yawn accompanied by knuckling at his eyes, and Phil said he still had to update his mother like the good son he is so they were all in bed just as the short summer night had begun. Alex slept well, all things considered. He slept well and he dreamed of unrelated things.

Alex eventually wriggles out from between them. He takes quiet footsteps to the bathroom, turns the light on and brushes his teeth, taking in the bathroom while he waits for the two minutes to be up. It's huge and spacious, with most of the space being taken up by a large bathtub that would probably fit three six-foot plus guys in it. There's also a shower there too which Alex is thankful for.

Alex isn't the only person awake for long. He can hear the sound of yawning, then footsteps approaching the bathroom, and turns around to see Jer at the door, wearing a loose shirt and a pair of boxers, curls and scruff messy and untamed

"Morning Alex," Jer says, eyes crinkling at the corners.

Alex gives him a wave because he's still about ninety seconds into the two minutes, feels a little stupid for it, but then Jer's letting out a giggle and walking over to him to press a kiss on his forehead. "You're so cute," he says, and Alex's cheeks immediately start to turn boiling hot, a sign of what’s to come later in the sun. 

Phil wakes up last, as usual. Alex is used to that from when they were roommates, Phil wandering into the kitchen closer to lunchtime than breakfast in a pair of shorts, maybe a pair of boxers and not much else. Alex is used to suffering in the mornings and today is no different.

Jer and Alex are both dressed by the time Phil stirs, Jer's trying to figure out how to use the fancy coffee machine while Alex catches up on a couple of messages. Phil lifts himself up out of bed, sits on the edge and stretches until his shoulders crack. He plods over to Jer, his hair’s all falling onto his forehead, and gives him a lingering kiss as a greeting. "Morning,mon mari,” Phil mumbles.

Then he pads over to Alex, leans down to give him a kiss too, right on the corner of his mouth and says, "Good morning, mon chum."

Alex lets out a quiet reply, his face boiling hot again. Phil's taken to calling him that since the three of them started their thing. They've been friends for a long time, and Alex had been used to a lanky, younger Phil calling him, but this means something more than that.

"Have you joined the land of the living yet?" Jer asks after Phil's been up for about ten minutes or so and his eyes are looking a lot more alert.

"Shut up," Phil replies, but he says thank you for the cup of coffee Jer hands to him anyway.

Alex has a cup of tea with a couple of sugars, and he tries not to think about Jer saying he was sweet enough already, and not fully awake Phil's echoing grunt.

"So, plans for today,” Jer says, taking the lead like he normally does. “It's not too late for breakfast so we can go get some grub and then we could hit the beach today; I need to start working on my tan. Pool works for me too. As long as I’m catching the rays.”

"Breakfast then beach sounds good to me," Phil says, sipping at his mug and blowing on it making the steam disappear. "What do you want Alex?"

"Breakfast first," Alex says, because he's not fully awake yet either. They’re both looking at him and it takes a second to finish his thought. "But the beach after sounds fun."

"Good, this is going to be great," Jer says, pleased and smiling bright.

It definitely still feels closer to a dream, to be on this honeymoon and to be on the receiving end of this clearly more than friends kind of affection. Alex pinches himself when they’re both busy getting ready. It means something, Alex knows that. They didn't invite him for kicks or one last hurrah, but Alex still doesn't know how this is going to end. Whenever he lets himself think about it, it worries him so he tries his best not to and to just enjoy the moment. 

*

The sun is high and blazing, the heat constant and unrelenting, and as a result, the beach is unsurprising busy. It's private, owned by the many stars hotel, there's still plenty of room for the three of them to find their own space to put down their towels.

"Next time, we need to be down quicker so we can get sunbeds," Jer says. Alex is finding hard not to stare which is fair, he thinks. considering that Jer's wearing a pair of tiny red shorts that show off his strong thighs, the wisps of hair on his legs and other things Alex will try not to think about right now. Distantly, Alex could always recognise that Jer was handsome and attractive, that him and Phil fit together well. Now that Alex is up close, Jer and the distinct lines of his collarbones make it hard for Alex to be objective, to think about anything other than how Jer is attractive to him.

How Alex managed to end up pining for two people who are in a relationship with each other he'll never understand.

Phil's wearing bright yellow shorts because sometimes he can wear colours. Emphasis on sometimes. Alex has on orange shorts, striped orange shorts. It was definitely not deliberate. He's still hoping neither of them notice though.

Alex is waiting for Phil to be finished with the sun cream, an actually strong sun cream unlike Jer's which has a very small number on it. Phil never tans, only burns, Jer seems permanently tanned, and Alex is going to fall somewhere in the middle, probably.

"Alex, can you give me a hand with my back?" Jer asks. His face is hidden behind his sunglasses, hair hidden under his sunhat but nothing could ever hide his smirk that’s pulling on those lips.

"Yeah, of course," Alex says. "If you say please."

Jer's smirk grows even bigger. "Please, mon chum." He drags out the last syllable, and Alex is going to go stand in the ocean and drown.

Jer lies down on the towel, hands folded and face turned to the side, and Alex doesn't think about it, he just straddles Jer's lower back, picks up the bottle of sunscreen on the towel and squeezes some of it out on his hands. Alex rubs it in circles, fingers massaging the skin.

"That's good, yeah," Jer says as Alex works his way down Jer's spine, muscles shifting under the skin. Alex focuses on making sure every inch is covered and ignores the sensation that he's being stared at, that people are sending him more judging looks and making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He works quickly after that, and he’s finished in no time.

"All done," Alex says, standing up onto his feet.

"You didn't have to move so soon," Jer says, pout clear in his voice.

Alex only realises then that Phil hasn't said anything in a while, quiet even for him. Alex glances to find him staring at them, still standing, a red flush starting to form across his face already.

"Are you finished with the sun cream? Or do you want a hand as well?" Alex asks.

Phil blinks back to attention, lets out a long uh like he's trying to kickstart his tongue again, and before Alex can say anything, Jer butts in. "I'm sure Phil wouldn't say no to a hand now or one later, right?”

Somehow, Phil's face turns redder, the flush starting to travel down his neck, and Alex thought that's what it might be but the confirmation is welcomed.

"Yes," Phil says, shifting from one foot to the other on the sand. "Yeah, a hand would be good."

Alex says, "You don't have to ask nicely now, but you will later." His brain was watching from the sidelines on that one. 

Phil bites his lip, drags it out under his teeth, and Alex watches him do it, watches him out in the open instead of from the other end of the table, the movie theatre seat right next to him or from the side of his eye at the breakfast bar. Being allowed to do it is still such a strange thing. 

"Later is going to be good then," Phil says. He sits down on the towel, bends forward so he looks like some kind of sculpture deep in thought.

"So, I don't have to ask nicely later then because I’ve already said please," Jer adds just as Alex starts rubbing in the sunscreen, nails brushing against the ever-present gold chain that sits tight on Phil's neck. "I like that."

"I didn't say that," Alex says, Phil taking up all of his vision, eliminating any thoughts of being stared at out of his mind. 

"I know you didn’t because I said that. I'm always the one in charge and what I say goes," Jer states. And it's not even that funny, it's not funny at all, but Alex starts to laugh and he can feel Phil's shoulders begin to shake under his hands.

Jer throws his hat at them and he fails at hiding his own laughter behind his arm, and Alex's insides feel as warm as his skin. Even more so, like they've already turned molten hot and soft.

*

Tonight isn't going to end early. It appears that way at least.

The teasing had been continuing throughout the day, leading to shared looks between the three of them, looks with a purpose that’s clear to Alex. Jer's tiny furrow between the eyebrows when Alex took a sip from the straw of his fancy cocktail, and Phil's chewing on his lip as Alex stretches over at the dinner table to grab the seasonings.

The food was great, well worthy of the multiple stars the hotel boasts about, and then at night, there was a live musician playing. Just a woman and her guitar playing wordless songs, providing a soundtrack for their conversations about nothing. It was peaceful, Alex felt relaxed and happy, enough that he started to lean into the touches Phil and Jer gave him, brushing hands and intertwining feet.

Jer's the one who said he was ready to go back to the room. He punctuated it with a lick of the lips and a hand sliding under the hem of Alex's shirt. Alex could take the hint.

Being on the receiving end of Jer's half lidded eyes instead of the uncomfortable viewer is strange. That unsubtle question used to be a sign for Alex to escape to his room, find a pair of headphones and close his eyes and keep them that way now.

The sign has switched from red to green, and there's no escaping Jer, not from where he's straddling Alex and pressing him down into the mattress. Jer who is kissing Alex fiercely, breathlessly, hands skirting all over, never pausing, like they've been waiting for the chance and don't know where to start.

They've both still dressed, apart from a couple of buttons Alex had already undone on his own shirt, but there's no stopping now. Alex doesn't want to let go of Jer, wants to keep him close, bring him even closer. Alex wants Phil closer too because all he's done so far is watch and nod, approval clear, and that created a warm twist in the pit of Alex's stomach, but Phil is so far away, and Alex wants them both, wants to feel the both of them.

"Phil, Phil, come here," Alex breaks off to say. He means to say Phil again, but Jer's moved down to his neck, needing to keep his mouth occupied, and does so by leaving nipping kisses, between them and scratchy feeling of his beard Alex lets out a whine.

Alex tries to look at Phil, and he does for a second past Jer’s shoulder, enough that he just catches that's Phil hand is pressing down on the front of his jeans, but then there's a hand on his chin, pulling him down back and kissing him, swallowing down any noises and names Alex wants to say.

"Time for these to come off," Jer says, eyes dark, voice rough. "You're so gorgeous, Alex. I want to see everything."

Jer slides his thumb so he can run it across Alex's spit slicked lips, his other hand moving down to start work on unbuttoning the rest of Alex's shirt.

Alex wants this. It's not the first time they've done this. He wasn't that nervous when it was the first time because he thought it would be the only time he'd ever get the chance, so it was more important to enjoy it then. Alex wants to enjoy it now too, wants to show that it was the right choice to ask him along, that he belongs here, and so he's not nervous. 

He's not nervous. He’s not. He's not, he's not, he is, he is, he can't, fuck no--

"Wait, wait, no. Stop, please stop."

Alex's heart is racing, loud in his ears, and he can barely hear Jer over it, "Is everything okay?"

"I don't know," Alex slips out. He can’t even hear himself speak.

"It's okay," is what Alex thinks he hears as Jer lifts himself off Alex's lap. "That’s okay, we can stop.”

Alex doesn't want to stop; Alex wants to start what he was brought along for. Alex does want to stop. Alex feels like he could throw up and that all of that preety food is going to make an ugly reappearance.

"I'll go get you a glass of water," Phil says, voice tinged with something. The mattress dips under the weight of Phil pushing himself off and Alex watches him go to the bathroom and run the tap.

"You feeling any better now?" Jer asks, shadows casting concern on his face. He moves his hand so it's brushing Alex's, and Alex slides his fingers through Jer's, catches it on Jer's wedding ring because he's still not thinking.

"Yeah," Alex says. Jer squeezes his hand and so Alex squeezes back. Phil comes back through with a mostly full glass of water, places it on the bedside table before moving across the bed so he's at Alex's feet.

"Do you want to stop for tonight?" Phil asks. Him and Jer share a look, a conversation going unsaid that finishes with mutual nods. They’ve been doing that since long before they were married. That’s one of the things Alex knows shows they were made for each other. "We don't want to force you into anything."

"Yeah, I think," Alex says, because he's exhausted suddenly, he wants to go to sleep and see where he is when wakes up. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, don't be sorry." Jer leans over to press a kiss into Alex's hair. "These things happen."

"I'm just glad you told us," Phil says.

“Me too.”

"Thanks," Alex says quietly. "I'm sorry I lead you on."

Jer and Phil share another look, a matching expression of confusion, and Alex can't stop talking for some reason. "You know, with the flirting and the talk. I'm sorry I didn't follow through."

There's a long moment of silence. Then, in a flash, Alex has a man on either side of him, arms and legs wrapping around him like a protective cocoon.

There are few words shared after that, but Alex's heart has slowed down enough that he can hear everything now. He doesn't have to strain to listen to Jer tell him not to worry about that or Phil whisper his name into the back of his neck. Alex breathes in deeply, focuses on the familiar scent of that fresh clean shower gel, the one they share, the one Alex hasn’t been using because he brought his own.

*

The next day, Alex would like to say the night before never happened, that he could pretend it didn’t, but Phil and Jer each take him to the side at some point. Jer explains to him that flirting can just be flirting, Jer likes flirting for flirting's sake, and Phil pulls him into a hug that knocks the breath out of Alex, but he returns it all the same.

Alex still feels guilty about it. He’s not sure when he’s going to stop because that’s what started this whole thing. Alex is only here because Alex was willing to fuck them in the first place, more like willing to be fucked by them but that’s not important, and he wasn’t able to do that last night for reasons even he doesn’t understand.

He does his best to forget it by focusing on what today will hold.

The nearest town has a market on, so they end up there in the middle of the morning, before the heat becomes unbearable. Phil has already taken his shirt off though and shoved it into his backpack. Phil has always been a lot. 

"You're going to burn," Jer says, more affectionate then he probably meant for it to be.

"I'll just stick to the shade," Phil says, readjusting his snapback so it's backwards again. It's nice being reminded that despite the husband and stable job, Phil is still a dude who is in his early 20s and as such, does stupid shit like this.

Jer doesn't say anything until crosses his arms and shakes his head "You're lucky I love you." He walks off towards some of the stalls further up the cobble path.

"The hat's not going to help keep the sun out of your eyes, but it does look good," Alex says, forcing his way past the discomfort in his throat to say what his initial thought was.

Phil smiles down at him, a weird goofy thing that only lifts up on one half of his face. Alex loves it, he always has. "You've always got my back, thanks mon chum."

Alex smiles back at him, and he wants to lean up and give Phil a kiss on the cheek, the smiling side.

"Alex! Phil! Over here, come look at this." Jer shouts, like there's an ocean between them and not about twenty feet away of road. 

"C'mon, let's get going," Phil says, holding out his hand.

"Yeah, let's go."

They take their time to look at all of the stalls. Jer is constantly picking up stuff to get a better look at it and to shove it in Phil and Alex's directions. By lunchtime, Jer has a bag filled with souvenirs for his siblings, his parents and his grandparents, and anyone else he can think so too.

Alex has been looking at souvenirs too although it's hard to decide on what he wants to take back with him, what kind of memories he wants to pass onto his family.

"Is there nothing you want?" Alex asks Phil after another stall of Phil staring at the table and not touching anything. Alex is sure he hasn't heard him check the price on anything.

"Not yet, I don't think," Phil says. "I want it to be perfect."

Alex looks at Jer who is buying a set of postcards with bright, colourful designs. "It's the thought that's important," Alex says.

"It is. That's what I want to be perfect," Phil says with a determined edge to his voice.

"If you need any help let me know," Alex says.

"I will do," Phil says, by which time, Jer is finally finished with the stall owner and is walking over to them, a postcard in hand. "Amelie asked me to send her one while we're here so we'll need to do that before we get back."

"I think there's an ice cream shop we just passed not so long ago if you want to write it now," Alex says.

"That would be great, a sweet thing with a couple sweet things," Jer says, because he’s never heard of shame

"I'll join you later. I need to go back to a stall to look at something," Phil says, lifting his hat to run his hand through his hair.

"Will you be alright?" Alex asks.

"I'll be fine, yeah," Phil says at the same time as Jer grabs Alex's hand, something he's been making a habitat of on this vacation, not like Alex minds it all. He was just noting it.

"C'mon Alex, it's I scream for ice cream time," Jer says, followed by a distinct pause and then in a thankfully lower volume, "hopefully it won't be the only thing I'm screaming for."

"I saw that coming," Alex says, forcing his face and voice flat as Phil walks away. 

"That's when it's going to happen, yeah," Jer says. You can't win with him, he always comes out on top, and Alex ends up laughing to himself because Jer's dirty mind is infectious.

There's no queue at the ice cream place, a quaint little hole in the wall off the main road with seats and tables outside in the shade thankfully. Jer gets a double cone with choc chip mint and fudge chocolate while Alex goes for something more traditional with a couple scoops of strawberry.

"I want to try yours," Alex says. "It looks good." It must taste good too if the satisfied noises Jer's making are anything to go by.

"Lick my cone and I'll lick yours," Jer smirks. Alex gave him the perfect set up for that one, he’ll admit it.

"Watch you don't get any on the postcard," Alex says in lieu of an actual answer, but he holds out his ice cream for Jer to taste anyway. Jer doesn't break his eye contact with Alex the whole time, keeps the smile on his lips while he takes a long lick off one of the scoops.

"That's good stuff," Jer says, before returning the favour for Alex. Alex makes sure to lick his lips after he’s finished, taking pride in the way Jer follows the movement. After that they descend into comfortable silence. Jer finishes his cone first and wipes his mouth before he starts writing the postcard. Alex watches the sky and the clouds pass by, listens to the hustle bustle of the market still going on.

"Alex, can you sign the card please and thank you," Jer says, sliding the card and pen over the table. Alex hasn't finished his ice cream yet but he's careful to keep it away from the post card. He takes a second to read over what Jer wrote, it's all soft, lots of missing you and details about the scenery and what they’ve been doing.

“I’m really happy you’re here with us,” Jer says, and Alex loses track of where he was in the paragraph. “Everything feels more right with you. Thank you for coming, Alex.”

“Thanks for inviting me,” Alex says, a feeling swelling behind his eyes.

"It's cute, the card is," he says when he slides the card over. "I'm sure Amelie will love it.

"You're cute," Jer says.

"No, you," Alex says automatically.

"Nah, you're cuter."

"You're both very cute."

Phil's standing right behind Alex. Alex lifts his head up so he can make eye contact with Phil.

"You're definitely the cutest though," Jer says.

"That's true," Alex says. He doesn’t need to beat Jer at this because this is something they can agree on.

Phil laughs, face turning into something bright and blinding.

Alex asks, "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yeah, I did," Phil says.

"Cool. Who was it for?"

"Just something for my mother," Phil says with a shrug.

Alex nods. That's one thing Phil and Jer share beside the curls and the handsome faces, their love for their families. It makes Alex's chest tighten to think about it. Their love, how they love wholeheartedly. "Do you want the rest of my ice cream before it melts?

"Sure," Phil says.

When it's the three of them together, it can feel like they're just hanging out as friends, that Alex is living a life of repeats of the things he did when he was younger, a teenager.

Alex has never spent time with people who made him feel the way Phil and Jer do. Alex hits all of the clichés, butterflies in the stomach, heart skipping a beat, sweaty palms, and even with the freezing cold of the ice cream lingering in his mouth and tongue, he still feels hot all over. Warmed from inside to out again, like the blood being pumped around his body is being filled with something else.

*

Jer's the first one up. He's already dressed and drinking his latte by the time Alex has woken up, still mostly asleep and groggy.

"C'mon, boys. It’s time to get up, we've got a spa date to go to," Jer says. It's cute how excited he sounds.

Alex shifts, mostly to try and get feeling back into his dead hand, but he's kept in place by a tight immovable arm around his waist. Phil's wrapped around his back, entangled with Alex in every possible way, and when Alex tries to shift again, he lets out a grumpy noise, breathing out words into the back of Alex's neck, lips brushing his nape, before settling down again.

Honestly, Alex would be happy to stay here for the rest of time for more reasons than he wants to go into, but his dick is unfortunately now awake and reacting to proceedings, Phil being pressed up against him with his hand arm dangerously low, and Alex still isn't ready to deal with this at all. He's not awake enough for this, doesn't want to spend the whole day thinking about it, and he wants to continue not addressing it. If Alex was brave enough, then he'd just say it out loud, but the guilt's hold on him remains strong and so he won't do it.

"Phil, let go,” Alex says, trying to pry the arm off him, but that doesn't work at all.

"Need to try harder, Alex. You're trapped in the Phil Myers Morning Mighty Hug," Jer says, about as unhelpful as Alex expected.

Alex could probably say that he needs to go to the bathroom but his dick must be having an influence on his thoughts because he doesn't think to do that. Instead, he pushes his hips back into Phil, grinds into his crotch, and Phil lets slip a rough gasp, and for a second he grinds back into Alex, and Alex's dick likes that, and so does Alex, but Phil loosens his grip in that second and it's enough for Alex to slip out and roll out of the bed, barely landing on his feet.

"I need to have a shower," Alex says in a rush, almost tripping on his way into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. Alex is very glad he doesn't have to worry about how much hot water he uses, he's not in there for long, because the water is a shade too hot and he handles his dick as quickly as possible.

Alex only realises when he's out of the shower and drying himself off with the towel that he didn't bring any clothes with him into the bathroom. It takes everything he has not to bend down and bang his head off the expensive marble bathroom sink. This has not been the best start to a day he has ever had.

There's a gentle knock on the door. "I'm almost finished," Alex says.

"No, take as long as you want," Phil's muffled voice says. He sounds awake, too awake for him, and Alex hopes he hasn't been in there for long. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I promise," Alex says. "Sorry I freaked out again."

Imagining the expression on Phil's face is easy, it's the one where he pairs the concerned twist of his mouth with the frustrated slant of his eyebrows. "It's not your fault," he says, echoing what Alex said that first day. "It's mine, I shouldn't have put you in that position. I'm sorry."

Phil's expression will have changed now, to that one he makes when he's taking on too much responsibility and Alex doesn't need to open the door to know he's right, but he does it anyway. Not to see the upset look on Phil's face, but to try and change it. He stands on his tip toes to give Phil a light kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you. You're too good for me," Alex says. Jer's watching them from the other side of the room, unblinking gaze, Alex can feel it.

"Not true," Phil says, a little wobbly around the edges, and Alex has to kiss him again, one hand cupping Phil's cheek while Alex fits his lips around Phil's. 

When they break apart, there's drops of waters across Phil's skin, his bare chest, his face that Alex wants to wipe away with his wrinkled fingers. "I'm just lucky," Phil whispers, and Alex replies with a smile, with the silent thought of disagreement.

Jer's smiling when Alex turns to look at him. "I hope I'm next in line for kisses. Once you're dressed, Alex, because obviously--" Jer does an exaggerated look up and down-- "You're incredibly distracting so go, hurry up, get clothes on before we need to take them off again."

"Whatever makes you happy, mon nounours," Alex says. Safe to say, it's hard to get dressed while he's busy watching the way Jer's mouth hangs a little open, how his ears and nose start turn this adorable shade of red.

Alex is getting better at this. He keeps on taking steps backwards, but Phil and Jer are always there to catch him. He trusts them, he does, it's okay if he makes a mistake because they'll still be there beside him.

*

The spa's great. It's living up to its reputation and Alex is agreeing with all of their buzzwords, because he's feeling relaxed, loosened up, like all of the tension in his body has gone away and has finally agreed to take a vacation too.

"Hey mon chum, lean in, I need you to get into this photo. Go sit next to Phil," Jer directs, dressed in his cosy all white robe, looking as innocent as he can.

Phil is currently sitting on a bench, all of them waiting patiently for their turn in the massage parlour. Alex goes sit next to him, taking up the space Jer was in a few moments ago before Jer got the urge to take a photo, legs pressing against each other, the sensation of Phil's smooth skin against his own.

"Say cheese," Jer says, because he's lame as fuck. Alex loves it though, he's always genuine, no matter how ridiculous he gets.

Alex smiles and he's looking at the camera, so he doesn't expect the arm around his back. Alex's smile becomes harder to control, he tries to hide it away into Phil's shoulder, and he can't help that he starts laughing, it's hard when Phil kicks it off.

Jer's pulling this strange face, it's similar to his _that's an extremely cute child_ face. "Well, that's a fucking adorable photo," Jer announces. It is, neither of them is looking at the camera, Alex is looking at the ground instead and Phil is looking down at Alex, the two of them are smiling brightly.

"It is," Alex concedes and Phil nods in agreement.

"That one's being kept all to myself," Jer says. 

Alex knows that Jer's not been posting any photos. He hasn't actually been taking very many, strange compared to the insta stories and multiple photo posts Alex used to spend too long looking at. Alex isn't stupid enough to think that it's not partly because of him, but he's going to choose to think that it's because Jer wants to keep it private as can be and for no other reasons, about making statements that wouldn't be able to be deleted in the minds.

Overall, the spa is great. Except that one thing Alex had to hear. He's still not sure what it was, but he found himself being on the receiving end of that one familiar look again. Because Phil and Jer have their wedding rings, and love filled gazes that are acceptable, and then appears Alex in the middle, interrupting those love filled gazes.

Alex doesn't say anything about it. It doesn't actually bother him that much, any tightness in his chest disappears thanks to the refreshing scents of the spa and the casual affection they give Alex, the affection that Alex doesn't mind at all returning now.

*

"Why did I say yes going to an arcade with you?" Alex asks, mostly to himself.

"Because arcades' fucking rule," Jer says. Phil pointedly raises his eyebrows at him when a pair of small children and Jer doesn't even attempt to look sorry. "It won't have been the first time they heard that and I'm in the middle of a serious struggle."

"You're trying to win a husky plush," Alex say, flat.

Jer doesn't respond, just makes a frustrated grunt when once again, the crane fails to grab onto the husky's floppy ears.

"A husky plush that looks like Phil," Jer says. "That's not just any husky plush. That's one of a kind."

"I'm pretty sure there's more of those in some of the other machines," Alex says.

"Nope, I'm getting that one," Jer says, reaching in his pocket for yet another coin.

Alex loves them both but Phil and Jer are both so fucking stubborn and competitive that they're going to waste all of their money trying to get a plush.

That's why Phil hasn't said anything so far, because he started his hopeless chase to get a plush toy. His pockets are empty, so he's standing off to the side.

"If you get that, please don't try to get the bear too," Alex says. That's what started this, the fact that Phil caught Alex staring at this one brown bear with a smirk and intense brown eyes and they both had the same thought of who it reminded them of.

"I'm getting the bear too," Jer says, biting his lip at yet another failed attempt and the husky slipping from his grasp. The husky with those slightly confused blue eyes is beside the bear and in Jer's own words, picking that up looked a lot more achievable.

It had been a kind of perfect day before this. They hadn't made it down to breakfast because they were too busy mapping each other out in that huge bed, and it never went any further than kissing, but Alex couldn't get enough of it, of the taste of Phil and Jer.

Alex is annoyed at them in the affectionate, I can't believe you're like this, I can't believe I love you way except Alex can very much believe it. Alex has known he's loved them for a while. Since the first time they slept together he was sure about, he's loved Phil for a long time and he hasn't loved Jer for the same amount of time, but it's the same kind of love, Alex knows it is.

"Let me try," Alex says.

"Don't waste your money," Phil says.

"I will try once. Just once. Let me have one go," Alex says.

"Fuck," Jer says, too loud again. "Okay, okay, the machine's all yours, Alex. Good luck."

"Thanks," Alex says, rummaging about for the right kind of coin and sliding in it once it finds it. The machine fires up again, flashing lights and music. Alex moves the joystick up first. Stops, and then he moves it along. He thinks he's missed it all up because it doesn't seem to be in the right place for either the husky or the bear. It starts to extend down, and Alex is waiting for it to grab onto nothing, and he keeps on waiting, because somehow, it ends up lifting up both the husky and the bear. Alex waits for the claw to drop them and it does, once it made over to the chute.

"Holy shit, Alex," Jer says. "Holy shit!"

"How the fuck did that even happen," Phil says, face shocked and delighted.

"I don't know," Alex says, bending down to pick up the husky and bear. He ends up staring at them, still in disbelief.

"That was legit the most impressive thing I've ever seen like ever," Jer says.

"I feel like I used up all my future luck on that," Alex says, an attempt at a joke, but it's hard when he's feeling washed over by Phil and Jer's happiness. "Here's the bear for Jer, and the husky for Phil."

"Do you not want to keep one of them Alex?" Phil asks. He's holding onto the husky under his arm, and he looks touched by the whole thing, that softness of him leaking out again.

"No, it would make me happier if you two kept them. A couple cute souvenirs of our vacation."

Phil and Jer share a look, a quick one that Alex wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't already looking at them.

"We'll give you something in return," Jer says.

"You don't have to," Alex says.

"But we want to," Phil says.

"We'll give it to you soon," Jer says.

"Okay, just don't go spending all of your change in a crane machine again," Alex says.

"Let's go play a two-player game, I need to beat you at something," Jer says, a competitive edge alight in his eye.

"Bring it on," Alex says.

"I'll play referee," Phil says.

"No bias," Alex says.

"Yes bias, bias to me," Jer says, sending Phil off into giggles and Alex following soon after.

They carry on like that into the net, their laughter mixing with the loud sound effects of success, failure and bright lights.

*

Phil and Jer are in love. They're so in love. Alex is sure that everyone can see it straight away, the way they look at each other. It's been the same from when they first started dating, from the first time Phil brought Jer along to their weekly quiz night and Jer was absolutely no help because all he did was look at Phil, fascination painted across his face.

They're in love and Alex has been stuck in their orbit ever since the beginning. He was already being pulled towards Phil; he never stood a chance once Jer was introduced into the picture.

Every day they've been on the honeymoon, since that day Phil asked Alex if he wanted to have a threesome with Phil and his fiancé, Alex has felt himself being pulled closer and closer, nearing ever closer to crashing and leaving a crater.

Alex isn't scared anymore. He knows how he feels and he has an idea of how they feel. They want him here, they want him down on the surface with them and whatever damage Alex is going to take on the way down, it's going to be worth it.

*

"We have something for you," Phil announces.

They're back at the beach again. It's no longer the first full day, they're at the half way point of the honeymoon, and it feels like they've been here for no time at all, like that they've been here forever.

It's painfully romantic, the kind of thing you'd see in a romcom with the gentle waves lapping up against the shore and the stars reflecting off the surface of the water.

Alex digs his toes into the sand. "Yeah, what is it? That was quick. I just got your plush toys yesterday."

"We already had something we wanted to give you," Phil says. He looks towards Jer who is on Alex's other side, Jer takes a couple seconds to look through his pockets before bringing out in a small bag.

"Sorry it didn't come in something nicer," Jer says, dropping it into Alex's waiting hand.

"We tried to find a box, but obviously that didn't work out. We hope you still like it," Jer says.

Alex isn't going to lie, he still had no clue what it was going to be until he felt the shape through the bag, and even then, he still had to open it up in order to believe it properly. It's a ring, a simple ring with a matching silver colour to Phil and Jer's.

"It should fit you," Phil says. "We can take it back if it doesn't. The market is back on again in a few days so we can do it before our flight back. The seller said that was alright. They also said it was very sweet.

Alex is speechless, brain and mouth are both empty.

"It can mean whatever you want it to," Jer says, soft and gentle. "For us, it means that we want you in our lives as something more than a friend. Anything more really."

"But it doesn't mean you're engaged to us or anything. It can, but-- yeah, it can just mean what you want."

Alex keeps on turning the ring over in his hand.

"Thank you," he whispers.

"Alex?"

"Thank you, thank you both." Finally, Alex slips the ring on. It fits, not perfectly, perhaps a shade too loose, but it's perfect still.

"I love you," Alex says at last.

Phil and Jer reply in echoes, one after the other, I love yous that Alex recognises now, that if Alex thinks about he could see before in gestures and stares.

"I know," Alex says. "I know now." He won't forget it, a quiet vow made together on the beach, something he had only ever dreamed off before finally coming true.


End file.
